Fed Up

Good! The angry title of this blog got you to push that hyperlink and to take a minute to read my words. That's exactly what it is…my words..my thoughts…my beliefs put on to the internet for whomever to read. I'm sure I may tick someone off because in today's world we've come to a point where no matter what is said someone will be offended. So here is my disclaimer. I'm going use "we" and "you" even though the words I write may not be directed specifically at "you" or "us" Alright? Hopefully, we can move past the potential offensive parts and to the understanding parts of this all. If I can ask you to take one step back and be understanding, respectful, kind and read this with an open heart.

I've had to limit my Facebook usage more than ever in the last few months becomes it's become such a place to just sit and attack each other. I hate it. I despise it. It makes my stomach hurt. Perhaps, it stems from witnessing domestic violence as a child. But aren't we products of our environment? Are our own views not of where we came from whether that be who raised us or even what our area code is? Does that then mean that our own right and wrong beliefs stem from places that our brain or address has already predetermined and maybe we shouldn't be judged so harshly because of that? Maybe what you think is wrong (and very well may be by definition wrong) the other person doesn't even know is wrong?  But yet we judge everyone that is different than us or believes something else and that is the only determining factor of them automatically being wrong in our eyes? Whether it's those that are below us or those who are above us. "They are all wrong". "They don't deserve what they get." "It's not fair." Why yes, you're right….it isn't fair. If you haven't learned that yet in life or taught your child that life isn't fair then let that be the 1st lesson of this blog. No matter how talented you are, no matter how much money you have, sometimes life won't be fair. And if you are one of those people that are super talented and have a ton of money-you better learn that lesson even quicker because when that life lesson of things not being fair hits you (and it will) it will be a hard pill to swallow. But what's really not fair is a child who has a disadvantage simply by the street he lives on, or a child that is born into a home where he is neglected, and then said child becomes an adult that doesn't know how to love and only knows how to hate instead. That my friends is what really isn't fair. 

I see and hear stereotypes constantly being made but let me tell you my everyday life surrounds me with some of those people that are constantly being judged. Some of us might say they made their own decisions that led them to where they are, and for some that may very well be. But how do you tell the difference between those individuals versus the individuals that found themselves at a life altering moment that brought them to their knees? That left them broke, homeless, and/or alone? Because that's all it takes is one life event-the loss of a job, a traumatic event like the loss of a child that can turn someone's life completely upside down. Everyone has a story but we never take the time to listen and understand. But what if we did? 

I just read an article about a 2 year old little boy from Nebraska that was on vacation wading in a man made lake in Florida and horrifically was snatched by an alligator and after MINUTES of the story being published people were sitting behind their keyboards hurling insults at the parents. "How dare the parents!" "How dumb are they to their child play in water?!?" "Don't they know Florida has alligators everywhere?!" If we step back for one second and think maybe these people are no longer in their typical environment and in the excitement of this vacation didn't think things fully through? Do each of us before every vacation go and do our research on where hidden dangers may be? I don't. I probably should. But I don't. Wouldn't some say this is common sense though? Maybe some. But how about we all just be human for a second and realize that this poor family just lost their son, their baby- in a terribly tragic way so maybe we should show not just a little but a ton of mercy. Lets even put ourselves in their shoes and think how some accidents are exactly that- accidents. Accidents that maybe could have been preventable but that's sure easy to say after the fact. Accidents that can happen in a similar way to any of us. And then how about we have some more damn mercy knowing that the parents are currently torturing themselves with thoughts on how if they only decided to go out to eat, or that there would have been a traffic jam or flight delay, or if they would have just been content in staying in the predictable flatlands of Nebraska that they call home that this very thing would have never happened. Oh yeah, did I mention they don't need your shaming negative input in the matter? Or let's not get forget about the gorilla situation. Oh yeah, we forgot about that because all of the other things this week that we get to pretend we know all the facts about. But my goodness, remember how everyone became parent of the century because their kid never found themselves in the same exact situation? I mean our kids have been lost but only for a few seconds or maybe even a minute or two-but somehow we forgot the panic that comes with that and we forget to go beyond the place where that poor mother was and instead turn it and somehow even manage to twist it into something even uglier, like the many racist comments that followed when we learned the mother's race? But you know what we really should be pissed off about? We should be pissed off about the kids that are getting beaten on a daily basis, or kids that are sold into sex trafficking, or how about an individual that is dealing with so much pain in their heart and perceives they are alone in that pain-and commits suicide? That my friends is what we should be pissed off about. 

My posts are typically happy and light-but in this dark world isn't that what we should try to focus on? Perhaps if we did just that we wouldn't be in this mess that we are currently in? The mess where everyone focuses on every bad thing occurring in the world which then makes our world seem that much more doomed? I write positive and hopeful things for just that. Because there is enough bad news and hate out there. My belief is that maybe not only will my own children read my words ones day and know without a doubt that my memories of and with them were magical and even though there were/are daily tribulations I chose to focus on the good. I share with all of you for the reason that it will be a light and happiness in this world that can seem overly dark. As well as the fact that maybe through my own son and celebrating this crazy thing we call life-that it will in turn help you find your own joy. Or that maybe you will look at your own child differently and marvel at the little accomplishments that is  experienced on any old ordinary day and just celebrate it. (Um, like licking a lollipop!) How about we focus on some of the positive things in life in general? How about we share and broadcast news on do gooders instead of one person that will receive weeks/months/years of attention because of something evil they did? And within that evil, people will do even more evil with it-point fingers, blame race, sexual orientation, guns, on an evil act when it's really none of that. It's only evil. There has been evil since the beginning times and there will always be evil. No matter if we make laws banning this or that-we know from history that people have done evil things with planes, fertilizer, knives, drugs, etc. Evil doesn't have a weapon of choice. No matter what you do nothing can protect us fully from evil. That being said stop turning tragedies into agendas. Because hidden agendas often become political and then people think it's ok to start hurling insults because we see future potential leaders of our country doing the same exact thing to each other. When we start criticizing each other on political views and saying hurtful and spiteful things in the name of a political stance is it any different than saying hurtful things about ones race, sexuality, etc? But guess what? It's not even really about politics. It's not my God versus your God- it's about "you/us" being decent human beings. Mind blowing huh? Let's not allow the evil ways or even one evil person seperate us even more. 

Now that I have a child-more than ever, I want this world to become better. I want all the hate to stop. I want those who surround my son to be kind people. I want my son to be a kind person. I want him to be tolerant. I want him to respectful. I want him to be understanding. I want him to know that even though his ideals and beliefs may not match the person next to him that it is OK and not only is it OK but he can also be a friend to that person. And who is going to be responsible for teaching him those qualities? Hopefully, mostly myself and his dad and not only because we say so but because we live that way. Do I have work to do myself in that department as well as Nico's dad? Heck yes, every single day sometimes we have to rise above our own thoughts in our mind about our own ideals. But guess what, I also want him to learn those things from you too. I want him to learn those things from your kids too. So please start being the good, start teaching your children to be the good in this world as well. Start loving individuals that may be hard to love. Just start doing something or anything kind.

As I write this I'm watching a father and his son try to save a snapping turtle from crossing Highway 151. This is after both my husband and 2 other random do gooders pulled their cars over to do the same thing 10 minutes prior all while Nico and I watched from the window. Isn't this what it's about? Teaching our young how to help someone (or in this case something) that is in danger or in need of a little help..and maybe in need of help more than once for the same poor decision? Dude, you're a turtle crossing a highway-be smarter! See the irony? See the parallel process?! 

One thing I'll always stand behind and for is kindness…to everyone and everything. 

Thank you for making it this far and dealing with my random thoughts (again). I hope this allows you to reflect on an area in your own heart where you can be a little more tolerant to, a little more forgiving to, a little more understanding to, a little less judgmental about and more appreciative of. And let's figure out how we are going to help our children be the gift and the light to this world…together.

XO. 

JLOVE AKA "Mommy"