Fed Up

Good! The angry title of this blog got you to push that hyperlink and to take a minute to read my words. That's exactly what it is…my words..my thoughts…my beliefs put on to the internet for whomever to read. I'm sure I may tick someone off because in today's world we've come to a point where no matter what is said someone will be offended. So here is my disclaimer. I'm going use "we" and "you" even though the words I write may not be directed specifically at "you" or "us" Alright? Hopefully, we can move past the potential offensive parts and to the understanding parts of this all. If I can ask you to take one step back and be understanding, respectful, kind and read this with an open heart.

I've had to limit my Facebook usage more than ever in the last few months becomes it's become such a place to just sit and attack each other. I hate it. I despise it. It makes my stomach hurt. Perhaps, it stems from witnessing domestic violence as a child. But aren't we products of our environment? Are our own views not of where we came from whether that be who raised us or even what our area code is? Does that then mean that our own right and wrong beliefs stem from places that our brain or address has already predetermined and maybe we shouldn't be judged so harshly because of that? Maybe what you think is wrong (and very well may be by definition wrong) the other person doesn't even know is wrong?  But yet we judge everyone that is different than us or believes something else and that is the only determining factor of them automatically being wrong in our eyes? Whether it's those that are below us or those who are above us. "They are all wrong". "They don't deserve what they get." "It's not fair." Why yes, you're right….it isn't fair. If you haven't learned that yet in life or taught your child that life isn't fair then let that be the 1st lesson of this blog. No matter how talented you are, no matter how much money you have, sometimes life won't be fair. And if you are one of those people that are super talented and have a ton of money-you better learn that lesson even quicker because when that life lesson of things not being fair hits you (and it will) it will be a hard pill to swallow. But what's really not fair is a child who has a disadvantage simply by the street he lives on, or a child that is born into a home where he is neglected, and then said child becomes an adult that doesn't know how to love and only knows how to hate instead. That my friends is what really isn't fair. 

I see and hear stereotypes constantly being made but let me tell you my everyday life surrounds me with some of those people that are constantly being judged. Some of us might say they made their own decisions that led them to where they are, and for some that may very well be. But how do you tell the difference between those individuals versus the individuals that found themselves at a life altering moment that brought them to their knees? That left them broke, homeless, and/or alone? Because that's all it takes is one life event-the loss of a job, a traumatic event like the loss of a child that can turn someone's life completely upside down. Everyone has a story but we never take the time to listen and understand. But what if we did? 

I just read an article about a 2 year old little boy from Nebraska that was on vacation wading in a man made lake in Florida and horrifically was snatched by an alligator and after MINUTES of the story being published people were sitting behind their keyboards hurling insults at the parents. "How dare the parents!" "How dumb are they to their child play in water?!?" "Don't they know Florida has alligators everywhere?!" If we step back for one second and think maybe these people are no longer in their typical environment and in the excitement of this vacation didn't think things fully through? Do each of us before every vacation go and do our research on where hidden dangers may be? I don't. I probably should. But I don't. Wouldn't some say this is common sense though? Maybe some. But how about we all just be human for a second and realize that this poor family just lost their son, their baby- in a terribly tragic way so maybe we should show not just a little but a ton of mercy. Lets even put ourselves in their shoes and think how some accidents are exactly that- accidents. Accidents that maybe could have been preventable but that's sure easy to say after the fact. Accidents that can happen in a similar way to any of us. And then how about we have some more damn mercy knowing that the parents are currently torturing themselves with thoughts on how if they only decided to go out to eat, or that there would have been a traffic jam or flight delay, or if they would have just been content in staying in the predictable flatlands of Nebraska that they call home that this very thing would have never happened. Oh yeah, did I mention they don't need your shaming negative input in the matter? Or let's not get forget about the gorilla situation. Oh yeah, we forgot about that because all of the other things this week that we get to pretend we know all the facts about. But my goodness, remember how everyone became parent of the century because their kid never found themselves in the same exact situation? I mean our kids have been lost but only for a few seconds or maybe even a minute or two-but somehow we forgot the panic that comes with that and we forget to go beyond the place where that poor mother was and instead turn it and somehow even manage to twist it into something even uglier, like the many racist comments that followed when we learned the mother's race? But you know what we really should be pissed off about? We should be pissed off about the kids that are getting beaten on a daily basis, or kids that are sold into sex trafficking, or how about an individual that is dealing with so much pain in their heart and perceives they are alone in that pain-and commits suicide? That my friends is what we should be pissed off about. 

My posts are typically happy and light-but in this dark world isn't that what we should try to focus on? Perhaps if we did just that we wouldn't be in this mess that we are currently in? The mess where everyone focuses on every bad thing occurring in the world which then makes our world seem that much more doomed? I write positive and hopeful things for just that. Because there is enough bad news and hate out there. My belief is that maybe not only will my own children read my words ones day and know without a doubt that my memories of and with them were magical and even though there were/are daily tribulations I chose to focus on the good. I share with all of you for the reason that it will be a light and happiness in this world that can seem overly dark. As well as the fact that maybe through my own son and celebrating this crazy thing we call life-that it will in turn help you find your own joy. Or that maybe you will look at your own child differently and marvel at the little accomplishments that is  experienced on any old ordinary day and just celebrate it. (Um, like licking a lollipop!) How about we focus on some of the positive things in life in general? How about we share and broadcast news on do gooders instead of one person that will receive weeks/months/years of attention because of something evil they did? And within that evil, people will do even more evil with it-point fingers, blame race, sexual orientation, guns, on an evil act when it's really none of that. It's only evil. There has been evil since the beginning times and there will always be evil. No matter if we make laws banning this or that-we know from history that people have done evil things with planes, fertilizer, knives, drugs, etc. Evil doesn't have a weapon of choice. No matter what you do nothing can protect us fully from evil. That being said stop turning tragedies into agendas. Because hidden agendas often become political and then people think it's ok to start hurling insults because we see future potential leaders of our country doing the same exact thing to each other. When we start criticizing each other on political views and saying hurtful and spiteful things in the name of a political stance is it any different than saying hurtful things about ones race, sexuality, etc? But guess what? It's not even really about politics. It's not my God versus your God- it's about "you/us" being decent human beings. Mind blowing huh? Let's not allow the evil ways or even one evil person seperate us even more. 

Now that I have a child-more than ever, I want this world to become better. I want all the hate to stop. I want those who surround my son to be kind people. I want my son to be a kind person. I want him to be tolerant. I want him to respectful. I want him to be understanding. I want him to know that even though his ideals and beliefs may not match the person next to him that it is OK and not only is it OK but he can also be a friend to that person. And who is going to be responsible for teaching him those qualities? Hopefully, mostly myself and his dad and not only because we say so but because we live that way. Do I have work to do myself in that department as well as Nico's dad? Heck yes, every single day sometimes we have to rise above our own thoughts in our mind about our own ideals. But guess what, I also want him to learn those things from you too. I want him to learn those things from your kids too. So please start being the good, start teaching your children to be the good in this world as well. Start loving individuals that may be hard to love. Just start doing something or anything kind.

As I write this I'm watching a father and his son try to save a snapping turtle from crossing Highway 151. This is after both my husband and 2 other random do gooders pulled their cars over to do the same thing 10 minutes prior all while Nico and I watched from the window. Isn't this what it's about? Teaching our young how to help someone (or in this case something) that is in danger or in need of a little help..and maybe in need of help more than once for the same poor decision? Dude, you're a turtle crossing a highway-be smarter! See the irony? See the parallel process?! 

One thing I'll always stand behind and for is kindness…to everyone and everything. 

Thank you for making it this far and dealing with my random thoughts (again). I hope this allows you to reflect on an area in your own heart where you can be a little more tolerant to, a little more forgiving to, a little more understanding to, a little less judgmental about and more appreciative of. And let's figure out how we are going to help our children be the gift and the light to this world…together.

XO. 

JLOVE AKA "Mommy"

A Year & A Half Into The Parenting Game...

Where does time go? I blink and it's a new day and then suddenly a new month and my "baby" is now a year and half and we are creeping to two years all too quickly. I know, I know...I'm getting ahead of myself as usual. Since our last check in things have gotten CrAzY! It seems after Nico got his first haircut he seemed to turn into a little man. He looked older and all of a sudden he's following multiple step directions, and talking in 2, 3, 4 word phrases. What?!? And as usual I had every good intention that on the DAY he turned 1.5 years I'd write a tribute to him-but once again my best made plans did not unfold. All because we were out double fisting crème brûlée CELEBRATING our big boy! That’s a good enough excuse if you ask me!

So whats-a-happenin’ now a days? Well, one of the biggest changes in our day to day lives is that Nico is going once a week to “socialize”. I never thought I’d let a stranger watch my child but through one of my coworkers who constantly was raving about her in-home provider and showing me cute pictures of her son having a ton of fun-was when I thought about how Nico would love and benefit from an experience like that. So I let go of my arrogant thoughts of how we are the ONLY people that Nico should be with and learn from because we are frankly the best for him. Which I do think is still true to a point…but my better judgment and experience I'm aware of how valuable it is for kids to learn from others early on since this will be a requirement throughout life of learning and following other rules besides our own. Another reason I chose to do this is because I myself was one of those kids that had a borderline unhealthy attachment to my mother. I know the anxiety that came with that growing up and I don’t want my son to experience that if possible. Plus, working with so many kids I really see a difference socially with children that had opportunities away from home and thus making the adjustment to school life easier. It’s all part of that letting go for all of us…even though hard…it’s only once a week and I now am getting the cute pictures of his weekly adventures away from home. And feeling good about my decision to be selfishly unselfish....

Nico hit 18 months and his words are so much clearer! His “Byeeeee” now sounds less like “Dieee” and currently his favorite words are...

• "Oh, no!” -Used in a multitude of ways...all appropriate. All hilarious.
• “Mama”-Obviously.
• “Dada”-Obviously.
• "I don't know"-Pleading the 5th already...
• "Boom!" "Slam Dunk"-in that order as he dunks the ball into the hoop. Little cocky for an 18 month old, don't you think?  

He loves to identify all his family and friends and even points to himself and says “Nico”. He does a mean gorilla impression and has a love for animals and birds.  

Because of his love for birds, his dad bought him a bird feeder that Nico helps fill up and they bird watch while having breakfast. So sweet. Nico loves nature and being as natural as possible…aka being naked-hey can you blame him?

But when we are outside we just go pants-less (whoa, not we…Nico..just Nico…even though I would like to join him) and hang from bars and such. 

This kid.


Outside is Nico's place of choice. And it's very confusing to a lad of 18 and a half months on why one day we can be running around with no pants on and the next we have winter boots and coats on. Welcome to Wisconsin baby. Yay, for beautiful weather and hopes of months of fun (and good weather) to come!

Oh, and Nico is putting his acting skills to work for Hollywood. He dramatically throws himself to the ground and pretends he's hurt. And his mother (playing the lead actress) says, "Oh, no! Are you ok??! Do you need a hug?!" He slowly gets up (I swear he's thrown in a limp a time or two) and says, "Dessssss" (yes), and puts his arms out for a hug. He walks away and does this on repeat until he feels he's mastered the scene and then demands to be waited on and for some food...so yes, your typical A List actor already.

His obsession with cleaning has lessened only slightly, but his obsession with balls has continued...and when you have "TT's" (aka Auntie Seneca) that play into this ball obsession to the tune of 1000 ball pit balls being delivered- ya know it may be a problem.  He loves to instruct his dad to sit down and play on the floor with him. “Down, down, down” as he slams his finger to the ground to get his point across. He knows exactly what he wants when it comes to what he wants to play with, what books he wants to read, or what he wants to eat. I respect people like that. To know exactly what you want in life is admirable. 

Nico's obsession with shoes also continues and he loves to put on shoes, especially his dad’s shoes.

Which then prompted me to get him his own matching pair...ridiculous I know....ridiculously cute that is. ;-)



His hair is like his mother's and it just depends on the weather on how it looks each day. Some days he's got this perfectly styled side swept smooth look going on and the next he's curly as all heck.

He LOVES his rain boots and loves splashing in puddles and getting soaking wet and dirty. 

The dirt, the rough and tough-most people would think I cringe at this, but I don’t. “Let him get dirty, that shirt is brand new but oh well, he’s having fun!” Those who know me look at me wide eyed as those words come out of my mouth. My sister said, “I thought you’d be one of those moms that would never let their kid get dirty and ruin their outfit.” Thanks?! Although, I do admit being able to dress a boy is so much fun. In my next life, I want to be a stylist (and a travel agent, wedding planner, and a photographer) so now I have my own little person to style. It’s so much fun. But most of all, there’s just something about a boy and his mom. Another mom said to me, “Don’t you just look at him and think he’s the most wonderful creature?!” Yes, yes I do. He’s delicious and wild and I just really love being a boy mom. I always saw myself as having little girls, but a boy is taking me by surprise of how much I'm enjoying it. And I still am the queen of the house…got that Bellina?

Nico enjoys being rough and tough with his dad and they are always laughing and screaming and it sounds like so much fun. But, when your kid starts tackling other kids out of excitement and pulling kid’s hair in music class (twice) I cringe and want to blame his dad and say it’s not my fault. But I don’t. I apologize, curse my husband’s name under my breath and go back home and yell tell my husband he cannot allow Nico to pull his hair because he thinks that’s how we play with other kids. My husband nods like he’s in agreement but then 15 minutes later they are rolling around and Nico is sitting on his head and pulling his hair. Good talk husband. Good talk.


Nico still loves to read. His current favorites are the “The Going to Bed Book” and “Goodnight Moon” and when we get to the bowl of mush he on cue goes “mmmhmm”. Kid loves to eat….fruit and smoothies being his go-tos. He is currently digging bananas, eggs and chicken sausages as well as peanut butter. Did I mention he only still has 2 teeth on the bottom and still eats “impressively”? He’s a little late on the game when it comes to teeth but is managing quite well. He’s pushing 25lbs and stands 33 inches tall and according to some random old man, “He’s going to be a big one I can tell by his hands.” Um, ok? I thought that only applied to dogs and their paws, but what do I know?


We've been busy welcoming lots of new babies into our lives and we couldn't be more thrilled on all the fun that brings! We hang with our family and friends in our spare time and we’ve been lucky to have some extra fun adventures in the last couple months. Shout out to Theresa and Elliana for being SO spontaneous and spending a couple days of fun with us in Madison!

And to Brady, who was just as thrilled to spend his spring break with us in the Dells and went back to school and forgot his parents and sister were along for the fun.....

We are so looking forward to summer to have more time to spend with even more of those that we adore and for more spontaneous fun adventures!


Speaking of good friends…Nico and Bellina ("Nana") are becoming the best of friends. And Nico really helps "Nana" out by if he doesn't want what I gave him for snack he promptly dumps it on the floor and yells "Nana" so she can come gobble it up. Win-win, right? Seriously, things like this? How do I get mad? It's pretty genius. Bellina finally is feeling a worthy part of the pack again…sorry “Nana” that mama has neglected you for the last 18.5 months. 

Nico also has yet to sleep through the night and likes to sleep in on days mom has to be up early and wake up early on days we have nowhere to be. How do they know these things?! His favorite place to sleep? On my stomach. He's lucky he's so darn cute.

So yes, this is what a year in a half into this parenting game looks like. Crazy, exciting, exhausting, silly and beautiful. Thank you to all of our family and friends that love us so well. But most of all, thank you to Nico for a year and a half of nothing but pure love for your mama and dada and to everyone around you. Continue to put that love of yours into the world and keep making everyone smile...

Elliana & Nico

Big Nico & Little Nico ("No, me Nico"…currently very confusing for little Nico)

Liam & Nico

"TT" & Nico

Monroe & Nico

Gracie & Nico

Dante & "Koko"

Zio Nino & Nico

Grandpa & Nico

Charlie & Nico

I love you big boy. Thank you for making my everyday crazy...I wouldn't want it any other way. 

XO. 

JLOVE AKA "Mommy"

Las Vegas Lessons

I was so inspired by our recent getaway that I was going to sit down and write this post while everything was fresh and so clear in my head. Well, you know what they say about best made plans. I laid eyes on my baby and a blog was the last thing on my mind. Oh, and then this thing called "work" messed up any blogging plans as well. Dang it. Blogging takes a lot less thinking...which sometimes I really appreciate and it is just so much more fun! So now, you'll have join me through a bit of a foggy memory of what lessons I learned in Vegas. Let's start from the beginning....

I was "lucky" enough to be invited to join my husband on this trip. This is usually a yearly "work" trip although I'm still confused on why Stefano must bring golf clubs on a work trip...I surely don't bring clubs to my job….ah, the mysteries of life. Historically, he goes with a couple of friends (yes, I realize I'm the best wife ever) and spends a few days away "working". This year, only one of his usually cohorts could join him so I "won" an invite along with the other "lucky" wife. Once the tickets were booked I was like, "Oh crap, what have I done? When I said I wanted to go-I forgot I had a kid and got lost in the no kid spontaneity of life." Then I would proceed to have a mild panic attack and this occurred over and over in the few weeks preceding the trip. Luckily, my work which has saved me many times from focusing too heavily on my own "problems" made the weeks leading up to the trip fly by keeping my mind occupied on other tasks. It was 5:00 in the morning the day of the trip when I truly realized what was happening. We were at my sister's house (AKA "TT") where Nico would be staying 2 nights for his own "Vegas Experience". I finally had a moment to catch my breath and when I did I could feel that feeling of full fledge anxiety and  on the verge of tears as I told my husband we had to leave right now otherwise there was a strong probability that I would not be joining him. As I kissed Nico goodbye all those terrible thoughts of, "What if my plane crashes? He will be parentless! What if we are involved in another random tragic accident? What if a car hits a bunch of pedestrians while walking the strip?" Then I reminded myself this is exactly why I should NOT watch the news. I become a lot more crazier after doing so. I gave Nico a thousand kisses praying that it wouldn't be my last. Dramatic, I know.

We met our flying partners at the airport and thank the Dear Lord for modern technology because "TT" was already sending me video clips of Nico very happily eating breakfast and playing like he wasn't aware that we were the terribly selfish parents that we were by deserting him. We boarded the flight and I was not sure what to do with myself without Nico on the plane with us. What do I do if I don't have to entertain and try to keep a baby happy on the plane for hours at a time? Oh yeah! The book that I packed! I spent the few hours in the shaky air (remember my fear of flying?) trying to distract myself from images of the plane falling from the sky by taking advantage of being able to read the first ADULT book in probably two years. So strange. So relaxing. I don't think my mind has been able to decompress like that for a long long time...as in multiple years. The flight safely landed-I said my prayer of thanks and we exited the airport to sunshine and warmness...another strange feeling. We then proceeded to a rental station where we picked up our shiny, fast, hot....mini van. After kids you lower you expectations and you just go with it. But when traveling with professional chefs golfers....you have a lot to haul and we got "upgraded" to a van. Gee, thanks. We pulled up to the Bellagio in our mini van and unloaded next to Ferraris and other fancy smancy cars. From there us girls headed to the pool and the boys headed to work the golf course. We were able to enjoy a couple hours by the pool and then the wind switched and we were forced to go inside where we had to sweat in a eucalyptus steam room/sauna/pools at the Bellagio spa. Poor us huh? 

We met up with boys for a dinner on the patio of Lago where every 15 minutes the Bellagio fountains put on a show seemingly just for us. We then went to see the Cirque du Soleil show "O" where we all marveled in the beauty of such a spectacular show...so much beauty that we all fell asleep. Yes, a Saturday night in Las Vegas with no children we all fell asleep during a show before the clock struck midnight. Lame? Yes, so lame. Good thing no one would have guessed that just by the looks of us….

After a morning of "sleeping in" and a little room service action to indulge in the ability to lay in bed for as long as we pleased

we decided to join the world again. We peeked outside and noticed a wicked wind and a iffy forecast so we decided to chase the sun and head to California in our reliable and roomy mini van. Our destination of choice? Death Valley National Park. We left a windy but sunny Vegas in our rearview mirror and headed into a rainy and cloudy Purump...which led us to question our decision. We carried on not knowing much about our final destination besides a few random internet finds in between our choppy cellular service we really had no idea what to expect or where we were going or if we'd ever find that sun that we were chasing. But two and a half hours later we arrived and the sun was shining and we were full of excitement. Having this big unknown space in front of you, not sure what to expect, or even where to go, that can be so exciting but yet kind of terrifying at the same time. 

During our journey to different points of interests within the 3 million acres of what is Death Valley-we noticed many others whom had parked their vehicles on the side of the roads and were taking pictures of little desert flowers. We all kinda of rolled our eyes at them as we saw people laying in them and having seemingly photo shoots with the flowers as the main subject.

Google Image of What I Speak Of...

Little did we know we were witnessing a "Super Bloom" a phenomenon that if lucky occurs once a decade. Where this typical barren desert is flooded with colorful flowers and because of that tourists were and are currently flooding the area in hopes to catch a glimpse. Reporting to pay enormous lodging rates to do so. The joke was on us that we were witnessing something magical and we didn't fully appreciate it till after the fact. True of life sometimes too, eh? This great unknown piece of land that had stretches of what appeared to be not so thrilling of "spots" but then as your rounded the corner you would witness something that was so beautiful that it took your breath away and you are just in total awe of how you could be sharing space with something so spectacular. Death Valley is amazing. I'm officially obsessed. We saw other POI and visited one of Death Valley's most iconic spots the "Badwater Basin" home to the 200 sq miles of protected salt flats.

Not only that but also the lowest spot in North America (282 below sea level). We all rested our heads on the lowest point in the US although I felt that point symbolically was once a familiar place to my body and soul.

I felt this whole experience was so symbolic to life in general...throughout our journey we hiked, unsure where the path would lead us...we passed others on their own path experiencing their own "adventure" somewhat similar to us but yet different. We made wrong turns, we had to back track, heck we even all stumbled along the way but we all kept going. Isn't that what life is all about? To go through the unknown and find our own way? Even if  that means picking yourself up off the ground or backtracking a bit so you can get back on the path to witness the next beautiful thing that's just around the bend? All the different highs and lows of life and at times even feeling a little bit lost?  And that sometimes the journey will at times take longer than you want it too but the view is that much more appreciated because of the wait?

My "Mountain" Climbing Partner

If it doesn't resound with you maybe it's just felt so closely matched to the last few yeas of my life? The ups and downs but finding the beauty along the way and most of all...just keeping on putting one foot in front of the other. It made me reflect that sometimes we can get so exhausted by the climb up the mountain of life that at times not only is it exhausting but may also have jagged edges to test our endurance even more. That for me personally, there had been so many jagged edges over the last handful of years that I was constantly getting wounded and it was hard to not keep looking back and remembering those wounds. But to keep going, knowing that once I got to that top of that mountain that I would be part of something so beautiful that I would forget about how hard the climb was. Yes, you Nicolo are the peak of the biggest hardest mountain I have climbed thus far. But you big boy, were and continue to be so worth it.

If you're currently enjoying the view from the top-remember to not take it for granted and to reach down and help someone up to enjoy the view with you. And to appreciate and respect that their way up may have been a bit different and maybe a little easier or even possibly even a little harder-so be kind. If you still on ground level and there is a mountain you're currently facing remember that sometimes it all can be so scary and you will be full of fear but just.keep.going. You become stronger. You become more confident. You become more appreciative. I promise.

That saying of that it's not so much about the destination than it is about the journey...is so.right.on. Thank you desert for your life lessons. Thank you TT for allowing us to take this adventure, and thank you to the Sierackis for being part of our adventure.

This quote to the left sums things up pretty well about my experience as well….thank you Randall…you're a wise man. We ended up leaving Death Valley well before I think any of us were ready to due to evening plans we had to head back. Although, I would have loved to see more points of interests and to watch the sunset and see the stars in such a remote location. Death Valley we will be back for you…and we will bring our Nico. We headed back for dinner and had a some legit sushi at Sushi Roku and went to see Absinthe for the 3rd time and laughed and was amazed just as the first time we saw it. And the most amazing part? We all stayed awake. For the entire show. Impressive I know…learning to adult again takes a little time. Overall our adult weekend would be considered a success. I guess it's "healthy" to do things like this although I'm completely OK with being unhealthy and not being away from my child. But, maybe ask me again after we add some more children to our crew…I may be begging to go anywhere without children in tow. And the life lessons learned along the way were valuable. And sometimes you get lost in the day to day you forget about the symbolism of everyday life even though it is there waiting for you to notice it. I probably didn't need to go 1000's of miles to discover this but sometimes when you're in a new environment your everyday environment becomes more clear to see. 

Oh, I bet you're all wondering how Nico fared? He survived and he slept well (my biggest qualm about leaving of course after us leaving him parentless permanently due to one of those tragic accidents) and he had a TON of fun with his "TT" and it's questionable if he even was aware we were gone. Anyone knowledgeable on child development and memory and at this particular age if there is any lasting negative repercussions? Please anyone? Will he need therapy? I returned home Monday afternoon and Stefano stayed a few more days (told ya I'm the best wife) and Nico and I had our very own sweet reunion. Before I left Vegas, I told Steve that him being gone for those few days longer was too long to be away from Nico now that's he's older. Although, I feel Steve was also feeling the emptiness of being away from Nico too by then. In a conversation before he came home my husband told me that he's kinda "over" Vegas and that the next vacation will be together as a family again. Steve & Nico's reunion? Even sweeter than mine...I could tell as Nico wrapped his little arms around his daddy's neck and Steve's eyes filled with tears that the openness of those big fancy golf courses didn't hold a candle to the closeness of being in our home together as a family.

Las Vegas, you and your big fancy everything...you got nothing on us. 

XO. 

JLOVE AKA "Mommy"

This is Nico. Be Like Nico.

Once again, I'm looking back at where I left off on my last blog and I can't believe it's been over a month and a half that has passed! It feels like so much has occured since then! A quick stroll through my very forgetful memory but what I can recall is….

• A fingertip almost severed off (Stefano's)
• Furnace going out in the middle of the night and having to be replaced (Merry Christmas!)
• An anticipated nice long break from work
• Christmas 
• Sick Baby all through my work break
• ER visit on New Years Day (for the 2nd year in a row)
• Diagnosed Strep Throat
• Family Night Mondays
• Kindermusik Tuesdays
• Idol Wednesdays with Our Favorite Girls
• TT Weekends
• Bestie Babies
• A Milestone Birthday in Florida
• Recurrent Fevers
• A state review of our food program at my work
• Diagnosed 1st Ear Infection 
• An Allergic Reaction to an Antibiotic

Are you kinda overwhelmed by this list? If not, you're a way better person than I. The good fun stuff I can handle. The busyness I can deal with. But that sick stuff I have listed? That's where I lose my shit. Like can't eat, can't sleep, give myself three ulcers and lose five pounds. I'm not sure what comes over me. I'm known to be a pretty cool and collected person but when it comes to my son I become a freaking lunatic.

Can You Feel My Craziness? If You Can't Take A Look At Nico's Face.

When he is feverish or ill I lose all rationality. I literally myself feel ill. Maybe it's because of my nursing background and I know too much? I'm really not sure what comes over me…all I know is that it is completely overwhelming and totally irrational. Perhaps it's just first baby paranoia (God, lets hope) and like my wise mother has demanded I better have another baby really quick-because somehow that makes you come back to reality? Say what? You don't really think I'm going buy that right? Doesn't that make you go TWICE as crazy? If so, it's over for me. Please admit me into the crazy ward now and send my kids to see me only if they are healthy. Just to prove how much I'm aging myself over him enjoy the following little ditty...I was at a work conference for a couple days and a colleague within another agency came up to give me a hug and said, "Oh look at you! You look great! And you even have sparkles in your hair! Looks beautiful!" I with what I assume was a very perplexed look on my face said, "Sparkles?" Colleague, "Yes, it looks so beautiful!" Me-"Are you sure it's not my white/grey hair?" Colleague with an absolute look of horror, "Oh my God, I'm sooooooo sorry!" Looking like she was about to start crying I repeatedly assured her that I really (no really) was not offended. Why would I be offended? Isn't white/grey hair a sign of wisdom? If that's the truth then I'm so full of wisdom for a just over 30 year old that it should be illegal. Actually I'm full of it and all of that white/grey is symbolic of all the strands of worry my son has caused me in his 16 months (plus 39 weeks and 4 days in the womb of life) so far. I lied again. I had white hair before my son. Although I'm totally not lying when I say there seems to be more of it nowadays! If I'm not mistaken, I think I've seen some young celebrities dying their hair grey intentionally. So yeah. I'm totally just being trendy. All jokes aside, those moms (and dads) that have dealt and/or are dealing with a legitimately ill child. I bow down to you. I also pray for you often. I can not even begin to fathom the real worry that comes with a child that has more than a fever. I admire you and your incredible strength.     

Somewhere in-between the craziness of everyday life (with my child) here is what I have noticed of Nico lately. 

• Nico currently has somewhere between 4.75-5.25 teeth. (Eats considerably well considering this fact.)
• He has hair that is out.of.control. The curls! The chaos! I go from wanting to cut it all off to then feeling like I could never touch the perfection. This varies by the minute.   
• He sneezes and thinks it is hilarious. 
• He's obsessed with balloons (takes after his mother) and his father plays into the obsession by every time they go to the store together they seem to bring a new one home. 
• Speaking of obsessions…Nico's obsessed with shoes (takes after both his mother and father) and recently stood at a shoe store window in the mall pounding on the glass (call security). 
• Now likes me to bring him to the "Nico's Food Cupboard" and stands on counter as we go through the items and when I ask him if he wants something he tells me "no" until I hit the item that he wants and then he simply goes, "yum." 
• Speaking of food-still naturally loves pasta the most. Then he could eat fruit all day and everyday.
• Loves lifting and pushing heavy objects. It's somewhere between impressive and frightening. 
• Still loves to clean.
• I'm no longer going in to his crib. He has the ability to go in by himself and fall asleep. 
• Has what appears to be some natural soccer skills. 
• Loves his power wheels and can now drive it by himself.
• Lately has been loving to color.
• Still a superstar traveler.

  

  P.S. This Is How You Entertain A Toddler On a Plane…Post It Notes (Thanks TT)

• Been on his first airboat through the everglades. 

  

  NBD

• Saw his first dolphins and was amazed.
• Washes his hands better than most adults (then why isn't he avoiding these random illnesses? Oh wait, he's a toddler and toddlers are known to get sick often...all part of building their immune system...duh mom.) 
• Loves to help feed Bellina and carries a cup over to her bowl and dumps it in an inch short of the bowl every.single.time. 
• Is wearing 18-24 month clothing, 2T pajamas, and size 5 shoe.
• Loves to dance.
• Just learned how to ride his wheely bug and is soooo pleased with himself.

  

  Cool Right? 

And what I love most about Nico? How he loves. He loves so darn good. Like when he sees his dad and his whole face lights up and he smiles soooo big. Then when he sees other members of the family he squeals with delight. Or even when he sees Grace's photo and he smiles and grabs it and then proceeds to kiss it. And when he sees her in person ?!?! How he bear hugs her to the point of nearly knocking her down…not just one time-but like a good 10+ violent bear hugs in a row.

It's Only Scary For A Second…Then It's Pure Fun! 

It use to totally freak her out but now she loves it and they both get a look of anticipation when this occurs. He loves waving goodbye to everyone and anything he sees. We say goodbye to our toys and goodbye to our books at night with an unprompted kiss before he goes to bed. Speaking of his kisses....they are so sweet. The fading smell of baby breath and a hint of garlic (Stefano-"What?!? He's Italian!!"). I love his little goofy smile and the look he gives when he knows he's being funny. I love how Nico grabs me around the neck and with his little fingers he keeps grabbing tighter for just a little longer resulting in the best hug I may have ever received in all my life. All in all he loves good. He loves hard. He loves with all he is.

Possibly The Sweetest Boy You'll Ever Meet…But His Mom Is C-R-A-Z-Y. 

So yes, be like Nico. Don't be like his psychotic mother. 

XO. 

JLOVE AKA "Mommy"